yowch

back to this again. getting back into step with things.

Movement: calf stretches and avoiding fainting/throwing up
Voice: Across the Universe cover by Rufus Wainwright
Reading: Nuffin. gimme a break, it's my first day back.
Participation: 100 for a potential career major switch [and starting the newsletter]

You cannot believe the huge fucking weight that's been lifted off of my back now. Like...with acting, it's just one of those things.

I love it, can't live without it around me, I'm just no good at it. I try...but I'm pretty sure it's not for me. I go into denial for periods of time, putting myself through all these illusions and shit (not good for my phsyche and wellbeing, but you know). It's unbelievably painful to know what you love is what you suck at.


BUT


I'm very excited.


Although I don't want like a...wall to build up around my thoughts like I did with acting and have like...a creative filter, I guess. No one should ever use thaty term, 'creative filter.' How fucking horrible is that?


It's like this huge weight is lifted and I'll start coming into my own. hopefully. and, also, awkwardness slipping away (slowy but surely) is a step up, eh?


OH. and I'm going to the doctor next week to see if I have an iron defficiency. Is that spelled correctly?

Do you know what's so scary? I used to have perfect spelling and perfect grammar, and now I can like...feel it slipping away. That's one of the most suckiest feelings. Ever.

Oh! And I came up with a template for the newsletter, yay. And I'm writing the article as we speak. One for theatre, one for dance seems to be fair.


I feel like I'm typing like Gabe. Oh boy.


anwyay. I'll only have the template fully for you by tomorrow, although I'll start writing it more thoroughly after I get off (my mom is being a major bitch).


hopefully, this is gonna work out. cross the fingers, kiddies



peace