ummmmmmm. so my brain is literally shitting all over the floor

djklkgshrueieieieieiui

100 today for taking actual fucking initiative and writing six letters, and for. wait nope, that's it.

me reading and stuff is not happening tonight because (1) I just wrote for two fucking hours and (2) no. I'll do it, just not right now.

Things I need to do:

--Find a fucking wireless router because cake is having a design meeting sometime in the near future. AND I FUCKING NEED IT, fuck me.

--Make my portfolio.

--Finish off and print my letters.

--Finish my folders (yeah, they're not fully completed).

I cannot think. I want to go

bye

so my freshmen are adorable

and like five different types of awk.

100 today for like...actually trying in class? for being one of the first people be ripped apart through my essay. i have a lot of trouble with my 'to be' dilemma and plan to work on it. iiiiiiiii also plan to work on my not witing like a basket case policy. no bigs though

so, the freshmen learned more about acting, objectives, and 'text analysis.'

i started the first couple of pages of the pinter play, so there's that. it looks exestentialisty and bullshitty, if that makes any sense.

the song 'ladies who lunch' talks about pinter plays, and now i can be all, 'hey, i read one of those.'

you can stop reading this bullshit now, i'll really start blogging on a day that's not today.

ps: one of your babies is fucking fat. cute, though

deadly women is fucking retarded.

i am so tired.

100 today for helping gabe with his project, doing my video blog, and getting a thank you email form sarah brill. :) she's so freaking nice.

ummmmm. umumum.

i guess i was a basket case once. still am. i'll lay off.

...for the time being.

i'm at school.

hi.

so, today we took some nifty headshots and made some nifty goals and made some nifty posters that didn't suck.

i deserve a 100 because i took a better headshot than i planned and set feasibly achievable goals for the school year. i think.

and i was productive in my boredom for the first time in i don't know how long (finished buried child).

you know i love you, boy. hawt lyk mexaco, rejoice.

buried child was better than i thought it would be. fucked up. i don't really understand it.

so blahblahbalh they're fucked up and cut off from the world and that's made them all delirious and crazy, right? shelly and vinnie are like the strike of reasoning-filled lightning that gets turned into horrible life-senility at the end of the play?

just like that native american chick in august: osage county. character ripoff much, tracy letts? jeez.

reaaaaaaaaaaalllyyyy good play, i just need to give it a second read before i can start being all articulate about it, yknow? yeah. k.

or is this not making any sense whatsoever? don't mind me, i'm just your resident overweight robot.

kbye

gawgawoohlawlaw.

100 for extra sexy-ladyness and being super-photogenic in the photoshoot today. Also, for really actually letting go in the acting exercise today. I haven't really done that in a while.

Buried Child: Act I.

So, effed family 101. Kind of reminds me of a hybrid lovechild of August: Osage County and American Buffalo. Halie and Dodge are two old people in Illinois with three sons: Ansel (dead), Tilden, and Bradley (a gimp because of his own stupidity). The setting is an old farmhouse that's completely falling apart.

Dodge does awesome stuff like ignore his wife and watch TV while she begs him to take his pills and tells a story of when she used to be 'escorted' (what?). He's probably a closet drunk or something. Also, their son (Tilden) has been 'kicked out of New Mexico,' not doubting it's because of something weird since he decided to have to bright idea to sprinkle corn husks on Dodge while he slept.

They seem completely shut off from the outside world. Like something was sucked out of them and left them in a time warp of the 40s. I want to know what happens next.

i'm going to throw up all over you.

100 for today for taking the leadership position and initiating stuff getting done (or scaring brian? my b), having kickass work boots, and trying to figure out if I still have a showcase.

I got the student pass application, I just need a letter from someone from the school with the letterhead and seal saying that I attend the school and that I'm doing the internship form so-and-so date until so-and-so date.

I can't do that until it's finally set that I'm doing it. We'll discuss that tomorrow, I guess?

Also, my stepmom couldn't get in touch with the guy who might get me free passes, and if that does not work, I can get someone to front me the money by next week; I just need to know that it'll get fully paid back.

This probably isn't blog material, but fuck it. I'm gonna rock the shit out of Buried Child tomorrow, promise.

Btdubs, I'm very happy I have the child prodigy freshman.

sassy gay friend.

enough of me procrastinating, this is ridiculous.

this is going to be so interesting.

100 for knowing fully what we were talking about and participating. sure, it's a freshman-level lecture. sure, it was nfp vs. fp theater. but, you know...i'm not completely retarded. and i want to teach a musical theater lesson one day, you just say the word and i'll have a lesson plan, homes.

ummm, so. found all the prompts i needed to find for suny, u of a, rutgers, montclair, and north carolina (just a statement of purpose for the program and nothing for the college if i'm not mistaken).

here is my me-time paragraph. do with it as you wish, m'lady:

"Insecurity and 'unsureness' consumes me and insures my constant need for knowledge. The theater gives me a sense of family that's being reciprocated by a group of complete strangers. Calling shows is my art --- the clockwork of a show, even down to the millisecond, is what can make or break a person's experience at a show; by being a part of creating these moments, I become a part of what makes people the happiest, even though I mostly do it for myself. Sticking around art and artists tells me about the human psyche and keeps the remnants of my sanity somehow intact. Art is my what is in my life, and helping create it is what keeps me living."

lololololol that is so not five sentences

i guess i will start on buried child tomorrow? i shall email you for shits and gigs.

new year, new thing.

PG: whatever you're giving me. 89 if you're not counting it against me.

i don't know what there is to really talk about, if there really is anything.

starting college apps soon. schools where i'm applying are:

SUNY Purchase (Safe)

Montclair (Safe)

Ohio U (middle)

U of A (middle)

Rutgers (middle)

UNCSA (reach)

hopefully most early decision.

it's actually disgusting how fast time goes by in high school and how much time you don't actually have, and how many things you could have done. i refuse to reflect on this too much since it's a pointless fight with myself, but i didn't do enough. i pretty much failed. i didn't completely fuck myself like mike or glenn, but you know what? i disappointed myself and my teachers.

the way they graded fucking kills me, man. not cool. at least my freshmen have the better opportunity, i'm grateful for that. i can't really think right now.

here's to hoping the mainstage cast list is decent.

hollaheyha.