Summer Goals:
-Read books until I'm shitting Shakespeare
-Watch GOOD movies (hard)
-Study for SATs
-Improve work ethic
-Get rid of awkwardness, therefore elevating people skills
-Get Amanda Palmer to do a workshop at SPA. How much money would that cost btw? If you want to give her money?
Anyway. I don't think I'm gonna let myself see myself.
That's really fucking bad.
Like, I almost cried when I saw those videos. I honestly don't know what I look like or act like.
I'm as tense and awkward as Kristine. Who knew? I didn't know I slumped that much, or stopped mid-movement when something exciting happened.
My fake voice does not match my body.
I was always one of those people who thought fat people or weird-looking people weren't really competent. Like, do you know what I mean?
That they couldn't really feel. Or think intelligent thoughts. I know it's weird, but someone else has to think that way beside me.
And then I look at the fucking screen, and I see me as those kind of people. It scared the shit out of me. Really badly. Like, incredibly badly. It was a really unsettling feeling when you didn't know what you were like, and were surprised in the horrible kind of way.
I don't feel like a real person. That's not good.
Plus, I left my DS at school. Whoopdeedee.
Here's to not gaining ten more pounds and switching out food for books, movies, or a bike ride.
Happy Summer.
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